The law is… daft


Derek Inkpin from local solicitors Wiseman Lee takes the law seriously, but even he knows sometimes the law can be an ass… especially if you need to carry a plank along a pavement

We are surrounded by laws and regulations every day of our lives, the dos and don’ts which regulate society and all of us in it. The change in Coronavirus regulations in 2020 and 2021 is a good example of how we are told to behave for the benefit of all of us, but which causes many of us to question these impositions.

However, against this serious background, perhaps something a little light-hearted to start the New Year. The following bizarre laws still exist:

  • You must carry a bale of hay in your car at all times.
  • Your cow may not be driven down the highway between 10am and 7pm without prior approval of the Commissioner of Police.
  • It is unlawful to handle a salmon in suspicious circumstances.
  • You commit an offence if you are drunk in a pub, and it is an offence for a publican to sell alcohol to a person who is drunk.
  • You must not allow your pet to mate with an animal of the Royal Household.
  • In Scotland, if someone knocks on your door and wants to use your loo, you must let them enter.
  • It is an offence in the City of London for a cab to carry a rabid dog or corpse.
  • Placing a postage stamp with the Queen’s head upside down is considered to be an act of treason.
  • No person in business may import into England potatoes which he knows or suspects have come from Poland.
  • By law, it is legal for a pregnant woman to relieve herself anywhere she wishes, even in a policeman’s hat.
  • Since 1939, it has been against the law to carry a plank along a pavement.
  • It is legal for a male to urinate in public provided it is on the rear wheel of his vehicle and his right hand is on the vehicle.
  • You must not shake or beat your rug or carpet before 8am.
  • Relevant to Covid-19, it is illegal to get public transport if you knowingly have the plague. Also, if you know you have the plague, you may not flag down a taxi.
  • Is the law an ass? You decide. A happy, and hopefully brighter, New Year to you and yours.

Wiseman Lee is located at 9–13 Cambridge Park, Wanstead, E11 2PU. For more information, call 020 8215 1000