When local resident Amanda Green lost her dad a year ago, Saint Francis Hospice enabled him to die peacefully at home. It was Amanda’s second experience of the hospice, which also cared for her mum in 2016\
Howard Bennett, my dad, died in 2024 on my birthday, 21 December, which I see as an honour. We were very close, and that afternoon, I felt our souls blend and our connection deepen.
Dad lived with chronic obstructive pulmonary disease and emphysema for years. Breathing was a struggle, but he rarely let it stop him living. He was stoic, funny, clever, kind and generous. He adored Salli, his wife – my mum, who died in 2016 – his children, grandchildren and, in 2023, becoming a great-grandad.
In 2024, his lung consultant referred him to Saint Francis Hospice as his condition worsened. A member of the hospice community team visited and offered breathing advice and techniques. But the best part about having the hospice involved was knowing that when the time came, I could ask for help. That eased my fear of what lay ahead.
After a difficult night a few months later, Dad said: “I think I need to go to the hospice now.” He was living in a purpose-built extension we had added to our house. I explained the Hospice at Home team could care for him there alongside myself and carers. He hadn’t realised this was an option and was relieved to stay in his own pad, knowing how lovingly Saint Francis had cared for my mum. We agreed he would only go into the hospice if absolutely necessary, and because of the nurses’ support, that wasn’t needed.
As he neared the end, the Hospice at Home team visited more often. It was amazing how the care stepped up. They knew just how to keep him comfortable in a dignified way. I remember the first Hospice at Home nurse arriving. I had the same feeling I had experienced eight years previously, when my mum arrived on the ward at the hospice. It felt as if an angel had descended and taken all the worry off my shoulders.
The night before Dad died, we gathered at his bedside and toasted him. The nurse suggested a taster of gin and tonic on a swab. The next day, on my birthday, we repeated the gesture with champagne after a friend suggested he might be waiting to celebrate. I think she was right; he passed away shortly afterwards, with champagne on his lips and Nat King Cole playing. He would have loved that ending!
In my opinion, it would be impossible to experience the care I received for both my parents without feeling forever indebted to the hospice and it becoming such an important part of our lives. It is so important to give back as the hospice is only 28% government-funded and relies on fundraising and donations for the remaining 72%. How different both my parents’ endings would have been without the hospice. I have also found that fundraising in their honour really helps me on the grief journey.
Located in Havering-atte-Bower, the Saint Francis Hospice catchment area includes Wanstead and Woodford. Visit sfh.org.uk
