Some South Woodford scribbles from DD, our resident diarist and observer of all things local. Illustrated by Evelyn Rowland
You’ll be reading this in March or April, but I’m writing it in January. The Christmas decorations are packed away. The New Year has arrived. I’ve been searching for a theme. I did wonder if New Year’s resolutions would prove thought-provoking, but the first person I spoke to (I often do a test run) made me think again. “I never make New Year’s resolutions because I never keep them!” A thoroughly honest response, I thought, and not entirely surprising.
Strangely enough, though, it soon became apparent that January was, in a more general sense, a month when people found it appropriate to consider priorities, perhaps even to identify or revise their personal ‘motto for living’. I was amazed and often moved by how readily you were not just willing, but eager to share your thoughts. Essentially your philosophy.
Sheila was on her way to a doctor’s appointment and admitted she was “in rather poor health. But I do want to help people when I can. When I see people begging in the street, I wish I could help but I don’t really understand how. I do know that giving to others can be a source of happiness.”
Sajiv was something of an orator: “Live life to the full. Live in the moment. Face challenges. They are part of life. Sometimes, there may be dark days, dark weeks, months, years even. But human resilience gets you through it all.” John was considering what to order for lunch at the Wood Oven. Lamb chops or chicken shish? “Look, I’m 88. I realise as I get older that there are certain things I used to be able to do but now can’t. I try to avoid dwelling on those things. Much better to focus on the things I can still do, and find ways of doing them better. I’m sure that keeps you young at heart.”
I guessed Lucy was speaking from experience. “Stay away from negative people. They drain your energy. It seems that lots of very rich people go off the rails, take drugs. That doesn’t make them happy beyond a quick pick-up. Money alone doesn’t make you happy.” After a pause, she added a small confession: “I admit I smoke but I do want to give it up.” Asa had similar thoughts: “A positive outlook is vital. It can be easy to slip into negative attitudes, perhaps generalise about whole groups of society. Reading the papers can be depressing but it’s important to remember that journalists always look for stories that are ‘News’, with a capital N. In other words, stories that are not the norm. I’m certain the vast majority of people in every nation want to live at peace with their neighbours.”
Dominic told me he was a paramedic. “I’m trying to be more productive, to waste less time on screens. I try to be honest. I want to be true to myself. I’m getting married this year and we plan to go back to Australia. Meanwhile, I want to use my free time more usefully, cook better food, continue learning other languages. I have some Spanish but I want to learn Japanese. We are going to Japan for our honeymoon. And we hope to start a family next year.”
Gino was from Turkey, a barber by trade. “I love working in this salon on George Lane but I’m set on becoming more independent, having my own salon, taking more control of my work-life balance.” Peter was looking at properties in Stow Brothers’ window. “Yes, January does tend to firm up your mind on new directions. We are challenged by the need to downsize as we are planning to move nearer to our children. That’s why I’m house-hunting.”
Helen was studying her shopping list but was unfazed by my interruption and quickly changed tack. “Right. Well, I’d say: live one day at a time. Be kind to yourself. Don’t feel guilty about enjoying little treats! Never mind if the weather is grim: we have a roof over our heads!” Ed was equally clear about his views: “Keep in touch with friends. That’s my top priority these days. Make the effort to keep old friendships alive.”
Sue leant on her trolley in M&S and launched into her response with enthusiasm: “Use the natural environment much more. Paddle your own canoe. Shop locally. Go to a museum, perhaps. Enjoy the simple things in life. You needn’t be ‘online’ all the time. You don’t have to produce a password or a QR code to walk in the park! You needn’t submit wholesale to being governed by the demands of our electronic age.”
Esther was with her partner, David. “My motto for living? Take life as it comes. Acceptance is an important attribute. Learn to accept what life brings. When things are going well, we don’t ask why they are going well. We must try to approach difficult times in the same spirit. Find joy in life.” David joined in: “I agree with that witty quote I’ve seen on the Tube: don’t look back. You’re not going in that direction”.
David’s view was reinforced in my final, delightful encounter, which was with two teenage friends: Leon came straight out with a New Year’s resolution. “I want to be a better person and stop being so grumpy and aggressive.” “Is he grumpy and aggressive?” I asked his friend Leo. “Well, yes, he is a bit. But about your theme, I’d say you’ve got to keep looking forward, not back”. Leon rejoined the debate with no hard feelings: “Actually,” he said, “only yesterday I was writing on this topic in my GCSE English exam. The question read: ‘The past is in your head. The future is in your hands. Discuss.’” (Forgive me, Leo and Leon, if I’ve muddled up which of you said what. I am getting on a bit. It was terrific to meet you both. Thanks for being happy to chat.)
To contact DD with your thoughts or feedback, email dd@swvg.co.uk
